Leap and the net will appear

“How can you sleep at a time like this? Unless the dreamer is the real you.

Listen to your voice, the one that tells you to taste past the tip of your tongue.

Leap and the net will appear

I don’t wanna wake before the dream is over

I’m gonna make it mine

Yes, I wanna own it.

I’m gonna make it mine.

I keep my life on a heavy rotation, requesting that its lifting you up, up, up and away and over to a table at the gratitude café.”

-Jason Mraz, Make it Mine

Driving on my gorgeous commute down PCH with the Pacific ocean in my left lane this morning, I had a realization. When people ask me what law school taught me, what I really learned, of course I can answer with torts or civil procedure or how to brief a case. But what it’s really taught me is how to get past something so huge that you never thought you could accomplish. There have been so many moments in the last year and a half where I’ve been nearly completely crippled by the recurring thought, “I cannot do this.” When not only could I do it, but I did.

This isn’t a post about all the spectacular things that I’ve managed to accomplish, but instead about what YOU can accomplish. For those moments when you think there is no clarity for the future, when you think that there’s no way something is going to work out, that you are completely incapable of doing what you’ve been asked to do, you are wrong.

As a few of you know, last semester left me feeling deflated, worked to death and quite unhappy despite an abnormal showering of blessings and joy. So, I decided to do something to fix it. I was annoyed at how things were going to work out, and with a lot of support from great people, good ole fashioned prayer, and a miracle of communication, the new plan is 1000 times better than the old plan. As a dear friend of mine reminded me a few days ago, it’s never a good idea to fall in love with your plan. Keeping that in mind, let me tell you, I am really in love with this plan.

I’ve accepted a job for June in Los Angeles working in legal aid, which is an area of the law I’m very passionate about. There are hundreds of thousands of people in Los Angeles who need simple, quick advice from an attorney and who cannot afford it. I’ll be helping ensure they have the opportunity to speak to an attorney for free, while also learning a little bit about practically every area of the law. I’m thrilled. It’s through an organization I’ve been volunteering with for about a year, and I know I have a lot to learn from those who have dedicated their careers to those in great need. As you may remember, I had planned on working for the Los Angeles District Attorney, and I am still doing that, but now in the fall.

What about July, you ask? Ah, now, here’s the big news. I’ve been accepted to a program in Madrid. Yep, the same Madrid that I’m madly in love with. Spain. A third (or sixth?) home. I’ll be taking classes for credit on European Union human rights and international law. I’ll get enough credits to hopefully be part time my last semester of school, which will give me even more time to job hunt.

I am sitting proudly at the gratitude café, and can’t wait for all the exciting things that lie ahead for the summer!

Leap and the net will appear.

Is "tolerance" really our ultimate goal? I hope not.

Written in response to visiting the Los Angeles Museum of Tolerance, I thought I'd share because of how many of you are interested in my Holocaust studies and travels and how they have tainted me. It's long and a little heavy, but a few of you may be pleased I shared. Please leave comments!

My personal statement that I submitted to all the law schools where I applied included a description of the surprise on my friend’s faces my senior year of undergrad when I told them I planned to go to Auschwitz instead of joining their Caribbean cruise. After taking a course on the Social Conflict behind the Holocaust, taught from an interdisciplinary perspective, I went to Dachau, Flossenberg, Auschwitz-Birkenau. I visited The Anne Frank house, the Nuremburg Documentation Center, the Museum of Jewish History in Amsterdam, the Museum of Jewish History in Krakow, Poland, Holocaust Museum in Washington DC, and read many books and watched many movies. I belabored this point because I recognize that I am not the average guest at the Museum of Tolerance, but I was surprised at just how “dumbed-down” much of the material felt. For a catastrophe that has so many aspects—religious, psychological, sociological, criminal, international, cultural—it hardly scratched the surface! Perhaps it was because we had a guided tour and didn't have the opportunity to explore on our own. I understand targeting young audiences, and ensuring that guests who have never been exposed to the Holocaust can learn the foundation, but like a church sermon delivered on Christmas you need to also target those who are well-versed and offer them something to learn too—particularly because there is SO much!! I hardly know anything by comparison to what there is to learn. To give one particular example, although not dramatic enough to overthrow the entire power structure of any concentration camp, there are thousands of stories of resistance that explain why the death toll wasn’t even higher. Prisoners at Auschwitz managed to blow up one of the crematoria, a huge victory, which I couldn’t believe wasn’t mentioned in the “Resistance” portion of the museum.

For these reasons, I absolutely loved the hour we spent with a Holocaust survivor. His story is so remarkable and will certainly stick with me until the day I die. I have to believe that to hear a survivor is to become one. It was Ellie Weisel who said in the preface of his book that to forget is to kill them again. I am happy that museums like this exist to educate and to stimulate thought on such terrible mass atrocities that are committed in our world. I will always remember him being drafted into the Korean War, him telling of his son dying, and that the pain he experienced was not at all concentrated in that camp. Indeed, I have been forever impacted by the hour he spent with us.

We had a long discussion in the car driving back to Santa Monica about how we felt it was two different museums. One half confronts hatred and discrimination in our culture, in our community, in our hometown – no matter where in the US you call home. The other speaks to what has happened and what is happening outside the US, bringing up buzzwords like genocide, crimes against humanity, which are terms of legal and political construction. Is education on these issues important? ABSOLUTELY. Is awareness and knowledge key to preventing such unspeakable horrors? I certainly think so. But it takes more than tolerance. To speak on something very relevant, it takes more than lack of hatred or discrimination to support US troops invading Syria. It takes legitimate concern for the humans involved. It takes recognizing not only that those Syrians are your brethren as fellow humans, but a willingness to put your tax money toward helping them. It takes political leaders to disregard the economic advisor, to say that international law is limiting them from taking humanitarian action and advocating for that law to be expanded, and standing up to be a bold voice for HELPING those people as their advocate. Speaking to the point—that I felt the museum was directed at junior high field trips—the average guest cannot make the logical leap from what the Civil Rights Movement has in common with the Armenian genocide.

I will gladly dedicate the majority of my legal career to organizations that help and aid the victims of these atrocities. But I do not think it will be enough until we have BOTH the educational aspect teaching people to CARE and a mechanism that deters the perpetrators. The Holocaust essentially gave birth to the entire concept of international law. Even under international law today, Hitler could likely get away with much of what he did. Himmler, Heydrich, Eichmann potentially all could as well under the protective cloak of state immunity.

So, what will I do in response to what I learned and felt? I was inspired by the reactions of my classmates who have not been previously exposed to these things, their horror, their rage, their amazement. It reinforced the importance of education. But I was also reminded at a flawed international legal system that is not doing much to deter those in power to commit such disgusting crimes and does very little to protect their victims. And I am certainly more determined than ever that my entire legal career will be dedicated to these two concepts that will surely change the world for our generation and for seven generations to come.

Running Wild

Beloved readers, a catch-up post is much overdue. As I never seriously intend to blog frequently while state-side, I recognize that living in California I am separated from many of whom I love the most, so I should be more serious about updating this page regularly.

What has happened since I left London?
I finished the semester, and headed back to Atlanta. Hang on for this whirlwind:
Saturday - London to Atlanta, Sunday- drive to Alabama, pick up Grey, drive back (almost 10 hours in the car), Monday - fly ATL to LAX followed by a surprise party with all my friends thrown by my sweet boyfriend. By Friday, I had signed a lease on a new place to live. We spent Christmas in Orange County on the beach and then I moved into my new place the next day.

It took a bit to get it all set up, and there is still a project or two left to complete, but overall I love living here. Since I have a job in downtown this summer, I needed to live somewhere half way between the city and school. I live on the edge of Santa Monica, where two streets over its technically LA. It's got a lot of character. In addition to my art, the art I've collected from travels, tons of pictures and furniture from our Atlanta house, its got Spanish tile throughout and new appliances and cabinetry. Anyways, it feels like home.

Over the holidays, I had several friends get engaged - including two of my closest friends so I am absolutely thrilled for them! One of my best friends in law school with me is pregnant, and another couple that I love just had a baby. It's a really fun time to be supporting them.

This semester, I am taking several classes and also doing a program where I am working with clients who are applying for Asylum in the US because they have been persecuted or have a fear of persecution if they are forced to return to their country. It takes up a lot of time, but is incredible work. The first few weeks, we worked with one family on their case and it was granted! Lots of stress, hard work- totally paid off! It's great to know we helped make a huge difference in their lives, and they no longer have to fear for their lives. Now, we are working on another case and preparing for a trial that will be held in March.

For Christmas, my beau surprised me with concert tickets for the next five months. Our January concert was a band from Nashville called Moon Taxi that put on a great show. Our February concert is Greg Laswell, a very chill singer-songwriter. We go tomorrow, so I am excited! Dad and I also had a particularly wonderful opportunity to go VIP to the Eagles, which was incredible.

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. I haven't had any revelations yet as an old and wise 25 year old, but you'll be the first to be informed of one.  My actual birthday was spent working all day, and I was in a trial courtroom for trail practice and preparation until 9:30.

But the night before, Brian had taken me on a wonderful sushi dinner right on the ocean in Malibu. Then, the day after my birthday, we headed to a favorite wine-bar for "Wine Wednesdays." Then on Sunday, about twenty of my friends braved the cold California weather (it was 60 degrees) to hang out at a winery in the Malibu mountains. The drive up there weaved through the canyon, looking down on the ocean and was really beautiful. On our way back, the stunning Pacific was in our right lane. We had a huge picnic, lots of great food and company and tried a few different very creative wines like Orange Muscat and Pinot Noir Rose.

The spring semester is off to a great start, and there's a lot more excitement to come!

"Oh, I'm asking why can't we live tonight? 

We are running out of time. 

Just for now, we could come undone with the rising sun. 

Oh, oh, running wild. 

So, drink it in." 

-Moon Taxi, Running Wild 

here it comes, the big parade

This is my biannual post asking for your prayers during an incredibly stressful time- law school finals. I'll paint the picture for you. 

My first final is in T minus 8 days and my last final is in 17 days. The next three weeks of my life will look like this (if they are anything like last year with added info from this round of Russian Roulette):

I will wake up after getting 6-8 hours of sleep, have my first cup of coffee and go to school. 

I will take over a table in the library or in one of the classrooms where I will sit for about ten hours reading, making notecards, reviewing, highlighting, and typing. After compiling all my notes from the semester, I will put those into an outline form that ends up being about 50 pages for each class. I will virtually memorize this 50 page document. 

In order to prepare appropriately, I will take "practice tests" which are the professors previous years exams. Each practice test is 2-3 hours. Ideally, I will take about eight total. 

These exams are 100% of my grade. Unlike last year when a multiple choice was 1/3 of my grade and essays were 2/3, this semester all of exams are only essays except for one. I'm not sure how this will turn out, but hopefully it helps me. 

As Thanksgiving is approaching, I have millions of things to be thankful for. After reading 1000 Gifts (great book, highly recommended), I've integrated extreme thankfulness into every day. I have a wonderful support system, which includes many of you readers. I do not appreciate you often enough, even though I am much more negligent about posting than I should be. 

The best thing about stress is, as soon as you trudge through it, it's over ! 

On December 12, it will be over ! AND I'll be HALF way done with law school !!!

(Post Title: The Lumineers, The Big Parade - song on repeat)

40 sleeping law students

The European Union and how learning comes into play amongst these many adventures

I know you're probably wondering if I ever study. The answer is yes. As I've said in earlier posts, law school has not slowed down in any way. One of the largest attractions to this program in London is the two school trips that are offered. The first is of the European Union - to the European Parliament in Brussels and to the European Court of Justice in Luxembourg, Luxembourg. 

Since taking a course on international organizations in undergrad, I've been fascinated by international cooperation and conflict. What makes states decide to work together, and what makes them fight tooth and nail for centuries on end? From a political science perspective, from a historian's perspective and from a legal perspective, there are dramatically different answers to these questions. In the case of the EU, cooperation is mostly economic. It was incredible to see at the European Court of Justice a case tried over an issue that was decided decades ago in the United States. In many ways, European Union law is just a much much more complex version of our federal law. This semester I am taking a course called European Union law, so it was interesting to visit these places  as a way of bringing words in a textbook to life. Although these institutions are open to the public, we had special treatment by getting speakers and guided tours. 

See if you can guess what all these ingredients lead to.  Take 40 law school students to a beer capital of the world, then drag those 40 hungover students to a court room at 8 am, toss 'em  in the room with little headsets to translate from German that is not simultaneously translated into English for the first 30 minutes and what do you have?? 40 sleeping law students? You guessed it. We didn't exactly represent our University in the finest light that day, but it wasn't entirely due to apathy. 

Luxembourg, country number 28 for me and for London, country number30

having a chocolate covered strawberry in front of the original Godiva. DELICIMOSO.

Where have all the Londoners gone?

About life and thoughts on London

I am living in a brand new apartment building about a thirty minute walk from the school. Most days when the weather is nice, I try to walk. I can also take the tube (London's underground) or a bus. There's a huge grocery store just a few blocks away and the apartment is in a really beautiful, quaint, quiet residential area. On my walk to school I can hear anywhere from two to five languages. London is one of the most international cities I've ever lived in. It's such a melting pot, it has me constantly wondering where all the Londoners are! 

I like it a lot. The weather has been remarkably good, but I expect that to change any day and that many miserable rainy days are ahead. There are about fifteen other Pepperdine students that live in the building with me and about forty students in the program all together. Pepperdine rents out a huge house that hosts two large classrooms, two student lounges, a big kitchen and library and living spaces for about forty undergrad students. The undergrads and law students don't really mix too much, but I expect the library will get a bit territorial around finals time. The schools location is great- in the heart of a nice walking plaza and museums galore just two blocks from Hyde park. 

London food isn't nearly as terrible as everyone always says it is. But what it absolutely is is mediocre. It's almost like someone comes around to every restaurant tasting the dishes and saying, "nope, it's too good. remove the pepper and that one ingredient so it's merely mediocre." Everything we eat is completely edible, but it's just not great. Food is really an afterthought- many of the restaurants are merely take-away cafeterias catering to people who want to walk in, grab something quick, walk out and eat while on the way to doing something else. Sound familiar??

I feel that calling this experience a "study abroad" is a misnomer for many reasons. In no way does it meet any expectations you carry of a typical "study abroad." I am not studying at a University in London, I am still enrolled completely at Pepperdine University School of Law. I will not have transfer credits, and my professors are Pepperdine-employed. There are three visiting students in our classes, but they're all Americans, and it's in no way an "international" school. I haven't met any real Londoners, have hardly any interaction at all with the culture (by comparison to living or traveling anywhere else) and haven't had any culture shock at all whatsoever. Of course, there are differences between the US and London, and there are things about living here that really manage to irk me. For example, the fact that the toilet flush handles are usually inconviently placed in a way where you have to SHUT the toilet lid in order to flush - like, seriously? WHY? Or that ATMs = cash point, cents = pence, buggy = stroller, chips are fries and chips are crisps. The guy at the PETROL station yesterday straight up laughed audibly at my "so funny accent." The lack of RUBBISH BINS in the city is appalling, and will leave you carrying your trash for over thirty minutes. Indeed in three months, I will be able to list on two hands every single trash can in this city. No doubt. But annoyances are prevalent anywhere you live, and the opportunities to meet Brits and to do all the amazing things that London has to offer are endless. However, I am a law student and its all I can do to work hard from sun up to sun down during the week, and let my gypsy side run wild on the weekends. 

view from the roof of our building

Proof we do actually work. Occasionally. (Taken in Pepperdine's Library preparing for our Internal Moot Competition) 

At Hillsong (a major producer of phenomenal worship music) London

I guess I'll know when I get there

Well it's been a full year since I began law school. And oh my what a FULL year it has been. Law school is notorious for throwing you in the deep end and making you learn how to swim. That's a good analogy, but the one I prefer is making you hike up a never ending Mt Everest in a bikini blind (not blindfolded, but actually physically blind). 

It's odd to be sitting in a classroom again, reminded of how little I know and how much I still have ahead of me to learn. This semester I am taking some international law courses that Im really excited about. Last week alone, I was assigned over 200 pages of reading. This isn't exactly study abroad undergrad style, it's still the brutalities that law school has to offer except now the temptations to do anything except law school are 5 times stronger. 

I landed Tuesday morning in London and headed straight to class. It was surreal sitting in that room taking notes. My mental sloth is evident in the abnormal amount of motivation it takes to get through one page of dense textbook reading. It's nothing like devouring a John Grisham in just a few hours. 

In addition to trying to get back into the swing of school, I am starting to get settled in this great international city. Reverse culture shock has hit me pretty hard. It's so strange to see women with painted nails, be surrounded by English speakers that I can understand, read all the street signs and billboards with ease, walk up to anyone and ask a question expecting to be understood, availability of Internet at my fingertips.  The public displays of affection and the liveliness of the Brits chattering away on the tube have also jolted me quite a bit. It feels like living in London can hardly be classified as living abroad. Not to discount the differences between American and British culture, but I can walk into a grocery store and get bagels and Philadelphia lite cream cheese or a dozen Krispy Kreme. 

Then again, compared to East Africa, life almost anywhere else would be easier or at least more Western. I took the weekend to be selfish. I needed to catch up on sleep and spend some time in solitude just reeling from my weeks in Rwanda. In Tom Petty's Learning to Fly he says that "Coming down is the hardest thing." He also sings about a journey that started out on a dirty road, all alone. Then for the end of the journey, he ends the song with "I guess I'll know when I get there." 

I have secured housing, learned how to successfully text on my new phone, navigated around with delightful ease, survived my second week of law school and booked my next flight to new lands not yet explored. This week, I move into my apartment, attempt to get caught up on school and hopefully get to re-explore the city a bit. I will be here until the end of December and travel plans are whirling in my mind. Greatness lies ahead. 

Ladies and gentlemen, beloved readers, welcome to London where this journey continues on. 

Doors Unlocked and Open

“California, guilded crowns.

Mile markers counting down.

Somewhere down, down in the ocean of sound, we’ll live in slow motion

And be free

The door’s unlocked and opened

The door’s unlocked and opened.”

–Death Cab for Cutie, Doors Unlocked and Open

Bear with me here, because this is an epic post.

And I sincerely hope you can find the time to read every word.

First: the headline—I will be attending Pepperdine University School of Law in the fall! Now, allow me to fill you in on how WE came to this decision and the revolution it took to get me there. Or, I should say, here.

Wow, what an incredible and ridiculous trip this has been and these past two weeks have indeed been particularly ridiculous. I was able to accomplish quite a bit in a short, short period of time. The first few days I distinctly felt like I had only revealed that I had more questions than I did answers and more and more I felt an increasing pressure to make some sacrifice on what I wanted for these upcoming years. I didn’t feel like I found a school that “had everything I wanted.” No, I felt like that didn’t exist. Instead, I was choosing which things I was willing to give up and which things I wasn’t going to compromise on. This was a suffocating feeling, but at least the decision was slowly approaching and becoming clearer. I ended up applying to 26 law schools and I was overwhelmed with blessings at the many, many schools that offered me a place in their 2012 incoming class of future JD students. I never expected to get into so many places and in the end, the great choices that I had increased the difficulty of my decision.

         The burning question this entire decision process has been, “Where do you want to live and practice?” And, flatly, I do not know. I simply do not know the answer to that question. Where you want to live and practice is incredibly important for where you attend law school. That city is where you establish a network, where the most alumni live, where your school will have the most connections for job placement, the state where you will be the most prepared to take the bar and not to mention, the city you are committing to live in for at least three years and most likely through your first job or two.

             I need to rewind. One of the reasons why I have always loved Death Cab For Cutie (a band) is because of Ben Gibbard’s (the lead singer and lyricist) remarkable ability to capture this idea of never quenching wanderlust. Many of their songs discuss “falling in love with an open door” and it is their “You Are A Tourist” that this blog was named after. Read its lyrics in full and then I’ll explain why it’s been so strongly on my heart throughout this entire last few months journey.

“This fire, grows higher…

When there’s a burning in your heart, an endless yearning in your heart, build it BIGGER than the sun, LET IT GROW.

When there’s a burning in your heart, don’t be alarmed…

When there’s a doubt in your mind, ‘cause you’re thinking all the time, framing rights into wrongs- MOVE ALONG.

When there’s a doubt within your mind, when there’s a burning in your heart and you think you’ll burst apart, well, there’s nothing to fear. Save the tears. When there’s a burning in your heart and you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born, it’s time to go and define your destination. There’s so many different places to call home.

Cause when you find yourself a villain in the story you have written, its plain to see that sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemption, would you agree? If so, please show me.

This fire, grows higher…”

Those last few months in Tuscaloosa, I felt like a tourist in this city where much of who I am now was born. I knew that fire to get out of the city and dream chase and live in Europe for a year was something real that had to be pursued. My plan after studying in Spain was to enjoy my senior year, retake the LSAT, live in Europe for a year and then go to law school. It would be a boldfaced lie to say that at times that plan has seems farfetched, out of reach and absurd. But hindsight is always crystal clear, and it’s such a blessing to look back on the tears cried over missing application deadlines or the disappointment with my LSAT score and think, “woah, it all has gone exactly according to plan.” And it really has.

        My months in Spain have taught me many things and in many ways, the most significant thing I have learned has been about myself. Though the fairly recently developed Brown nomadic lifestyle is now deeply ingrained in me, my definition of home has been crystalized.

Home is not Roswell or Tuscaloosa or York or Madrid.

Home is not in Irvine or seat 17F.

Home is a strange combination of all of these places.

Home is in the people that I love that revitalize me, encourage me, bless me, make me happy, make me laugh until my stomach hurts, allow me to call them venting, hold me when I am crying, that read my emails, that listen intently to details of my day, who Facebook stalk my photo albums and who I can pick up with wherever it may be that we left off.

Home is a collection of these places because the people that I love are spread out all over the world. Literally. And so, as for where I want to live and practice law? Well, I want to be a little closer to “home.” That is, the definition of home according to Stephanie Brown. Augustana has a song where he belts, "Do you want to see it, the place where I am free? It lives INSIDE me."

Last Friday (April 6^th) morning, I slept in for the first time in weeks. I woke up to Dad having read all my hours of research and all the brochures and viewbooks I had collected over the last few months. I listened intently as he was on the phone explaining to a friend that the day before after touring two schools fifteen minutes away from his apartment in Orange County, I had crossed them both off the list. He snuck in a few words of disappointment to the man that was the best man in my parents wedding saying, “I would really like her to come to school out here, but it just doesn’t look like that’s going to happen.” I left to lay by the pool and call a friend to explain, whether it was NYC or Miami, they were both incredible options, but they were both so far away from “home”. I was hell-bent though on not sacrificing a better education and better option for my future just because I have friends and family in California. All these thoughts about home and proximity to people that I love and need were not separate from this decision. As ratios, percentages, dollar signs, images and descriptions were all swirling around in my head like a broken radio I couldn’t turn off in my mind, behind all that were these feelings of being sick of being SO far away from everyone.

Friday afternoon, Dad and I were out running errands and we were having a discussion on “THE DECISION.” I had been leaning pretty heavily to New York Law School and imagining walking the halls of the sleek, new building and sharing with strangers on a plane that I live in Manhattan. It’s certainly a dream to live in NYC but after further research and review, University of Miami is just a better fit. Miami Law has everything I could possibly want and more. Though large and with a huge faculty to student ratio, the clinic offerings, the academic programs, the Latin population, the study abroad options, the notoriety, the connections and alumni network are all ideal. And before we knew it, Dad and I had reached a decision. Miami.

We ran into Best Buy for a few things and when we returned to the car, I had an email saying “CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve been accepted to Pepperdine University School of Law!”

I just kept repeating, “DAD!!” I had no other words.

This changed everything.

I delayed my flight to Europe for a week to fly back to LA to see Pepperdine and attend an Admitted Student’s Open House to make my final decision.

At church on Easter, this was my most exciting news to share with anyone and everyone who would listen. Each person made it clear their preference for where my tuition check should go. And who can blame them. Pepperdine has epic things to offer and being accepted feels like a dream. Feels like a life that isn’t actually mine.

After a full day of the Admitted Student’s Open House, it was even clearer than before that Pepperdine is the place for me. Several really incredible interactions took place. I spoke with students who told me they are praying for the incoming class and one girl looked me dead in the eye and said, “You’ll make the right decision and God will lead you here, because Pepperdine is a place where God leads people.” When we met the dean and she introduced herself to us, Dad said, “Well, I think she’s decided to come here!” The dean shrieked in excitement and gave me a hug. Completely thrown off, I stood there, thinking, “Wow, this is the community I am being welcomed by and I can’t wait to get back here.” It was a powerful day and I am so confident that this is the right decision.

I seem to be incapable of finding words profound enough to explain how my blood feels like it is running smoother in my veins. I am incredibly confident that Pepperdine will nurture, feed and build my dreams in a way that no other community would be capable of doing and its such an exciting thought to know the steps that lie ahead may be hard work, but are on the exact path I have been envisioning. Now, its time to go back to Madrid and enjoy my last few months before I sell my blood to the library. I’ve got a new pep in my step feeling like the doors are unlocked and open. I can’t wait for these next few months to be the best yet.

“I’m just in awe of what’s in front of me.” –Empire of the Sun

Looking back on a conversation I had several weeks ago with my boss in Spain, I said, “Pray that I see the name of the school in the clouds.” I can honestly say, it really did feel like God’s answer was indeed that clear. I cannot thank you enough for the prayers, support, encouragement and awesomeness that you all have offered me along the way. I simply could not be here without you.

And you’ll have a HOME in Malibu in the fall! 

Law and Life update

Law school update: I am still waiting on 13 schools before I make my decision. I have been accepted to 10 schools, some of which have offered scholarship. I feel remarkably blessed and thrilled to be privileged to be making this decision and you can be assured I will be seeking your opinion and guidance as it gets closer. Keep praying that I hear from those schools by April 1st so that my decision can be completely informed and I can be confident I will be committing to the right place.

In other news, I officially told my boss at the private academy where I work in the afternoons that my last days will be the second week of April. Though I love many of my students there and I think they will be genuinely sad to see me leave, I have thought and prayed long and hard and I feel strongly this is the right decision. I want to travel more, explore more, rest more and "aburrirme" (bore myself) and relax before I enter prison that will be law school. I know I need to take advantage of this opportunity because I will never have it again and I think this is the best way to do that.

I will land in Atlanta on March 30th, I would love to see you (assuming you are in Atlanta) for a long, enjoyable visit, but most likely it won´t happen. I want to try though! Ill be in Atlanta that night, the 31st and half of the 1st. On the 1st, I fly to NYC for a few days to look at law schools there. On the 3rd, I fly to LA to spend a few days with my lifelong friends there and Dad. Oh, and also look at law schools. On Saturday, I will fly back across the great United States to sleep in my own bed one last night in Atlanta before heading back to Madrid Sunday afternoon. It´s going to be a worldwind of a trip but I am excited to see as much as I can, as many friends as possible and to finally make a decision about schools. Keep me posted on where YOU will be so we can coordinate!

Just over 10 more days til ChicFilA will be in my mouth. YESSSSSS.
The next post will be long and full of pictures from my weekend´s spectacular adventure, so get excited!

Like Barack Obama said, 'Yeah, It's time for a change"

It was a whirlwind of a weekend. I ate and drank great Hungarian food but didn’t get a chance to really see the city during the day or do anything touristy so I simply must return. I liked Budapest from what I saw, but I prefer Vienna. I didn’t like how there was no one on the streets after about 5:30 pm and that it got dark so early. I imagine it would be odd for me to live in a large city without the liveliness of nightlife filling the streets. It was wonderful to be with great family friends and to get out of Madrid for a few days.

Melania and I nailed down our plans for our break from school the first week of December- we are going to Portugal! I am SO excited. We will fly into Port and fly home from Lisbon, so we will really have an awesome time. I cannot wait already.

Of course, I am missing Dad and really upset I am not in NYC like I usually am this time of year. Especially since we didn’t go for Thanksgiving last year, it seems like it’s been forever since I had a traditional according to the Brown’s thanksgiving. BUT I have super exciting news! Dad is in Europe and I will get to see him on Thursday! Again, I asked off for work (I am the worst part-time employee ever) and was told it was fine so I will fly to Paris on Thursday and have Thanksgiving dinner with my Daddy. I. Am. So. Excited. I have been thinking for about two weeks now that I wouldn’t be able to go, so this is truly spectacular news and I am thrilled.

The first change is the melancholic/weird feeling is gone! I think it was getting out of Madrid for some fresh Hungarian air, reminding myself that I don’t need to be stressed because God is in control of this law school ordeal and knowing that I will see Dad in just a few days. There are other HUGE plans and really, really exciting things to look forward to. Paris. 4 days in PORTUGAL. Susan is coming. I am going home! Alabama football. #ROADTO14 thennn Ansley is coming in February! I was starting to second guess a few tough decisions I had made these last weeks and those doubts have totally gone, which is awesome.

When I landed, braved the rain in Madrid and made it up to my apartment door, I put in the key and it wouldn’t go in all the way. Super confused and feeling crazy, I had to ring the doorbell to get a roommate to let me in. This guy, one of the two new people from Panama that just moved in last week, informed me that over the weekend the locks were changed and the Italian that I really hated was KICKED OUT. I heard the rest of the story from the new guy and shared with him all the reasons why I disliked him and my excitement over this news. Totally overjoyed, I texted Cande (the Argentinian that I love) and our old roommate who moved out because he disliked the Italian so much. I am more happy than ever that I decided to stay here and stick it out. I have a WONDERFUL sofa, a new bookshelf and my ideal room (minus a white board, coffee table and art on the walls but hey, I am making progress!). I am seriously SO EXCITED that he is gone.

Yesterday, I came home to a NEW roommate in the Italian’s old room. A guy from France who is working here for a software company or something. He seems pretty cool. We will all be here til July so I hope that as I get to know him and the other two Panama people better, I like them more and continue to feel actually at home and safe here.

I am finally use to my crazy schedule and most importantly, the levels these kids are at. I can tell that my lessons are almost at the exact right level- there are words/phrases students don’t know, but there are also enough words that they do know for them to understand the reading or worksheet.

THIS IS PROGRESS, my friends!

For you readers over the age of 25 or for those who didn’t catch it, the title is from “Lolli, Lolli,” a rap song I listened to this morning walking to school.

if there was such a disease as dish-washing disease, i would have it

hello long lost friends. I knew it was time to blog when people were contacting me telling me they missed it. That makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, so here it is, a new post. i haven't blogged not just because i have barely left room in my schedule to breathe, but also because i don't feel like i have much exciting to say. but here is the full update more or less.
This week has been so ridiculously insanely busy. I am thinking to myself that I have really done it this time. I have this horrible, horrible habit of tasting the slightest hint of free time in my schedule, then seeking something to fill it. Generally what happens is, I find more than one or two things to fill that free time and all the sudden, I no longer have free time and instead of being content and happy, I am slammed into "overwhelmed" mode with all the things I have freshly committed to. Well ladies and gentlemen, old habits die hard and that's precisely what has occurred again. I will give you updates according to whats on my plate, how incredibly stressed, blessed, excited, overwhelmed and ridiculously crazy I am. Did I mention that I am thrilled to have these opportunities? Because I am. I am just at that point where I am wondering, "all this might not have been the best idea you've ever had, Steph..." So here it goes: my plate.
            The meat- SCHOOL/WORK. Working at the two high schools 16 hours a week. I accepted a second job at a private English academy in the same town as the high schools. I will be working there 8 hours a week basically from 3:30-5:30 everyday. This is exciting because its a lot of extra cash and a really cool working environment. I will also be helping the owner do some administrative stuff, getting organized and hopefully further developing the educational program of the school. Opportunities to learn galore and potentially expanding my hours in a few weeks. There are several other teachers that he has recently hired. Three boys my age from California that in the same Auxiliares program as me and two others that I haven't met yet. Anyways, if you factor in the 32 hours a week I am actually working plus time to grade and plan, that alone is most of my day and week.
             The first side- vegetables- because I know they're good for me, but the rewards are unseen and so far away- Law school applications. These puppies are due in two days in theory. Problem with that is, I am still waiting on some recommenders to get in their letters required to submit my applications. This is a double-edged sword, I feel like I can be a little lazy on my side since I can't even submit them without the letters, but at the same time, I should have everything done. I have been working furiously for hours and I've been so pleased with my progress. Like any huge task, anytime I start to feel like I am making substantial progress, I realize how much more I really have to do. Please be praying for energy on my side, speediness on the side of my recommenders and for a miracle on the side of the admissions boards. That would be one stacked prayer, but incredible when answered!
             The second side- fruit- because it tastes sweet and looks pretty- travels. I am headed to Hungary this weekend and I am so excited! I was planning to go to Paris for Thanksgiving to meet Dad, but it seems like he will not be able to come to Europe until December. Regardless, I have a few days off in December that I need to plan asap. I also got the super exciting news that my dear friend Ansley booked her flight to come see me in February and I could not be happier than a clam! I am so excited. In just a few weeks, my friend Susan will be here also. I am totally thrilled that I am going to have visitors. I'm looking forward to nailing down some of these upcoming travel plans so that we can do everything we want to do when they're here. Dad and I also have to figure out what we are doing when and where we are going for the two weeks I will be home. It's looking like my best option is to ask off of work for the second week of January so that I can celebrate his birthday with him and friends in Alabama and also we can do some law school visits. I also need to book my plane ticket from ATL-Madrid in January and decide if I will come home in April or stay here.
            The carbs- what I enjoy the most but shouldn't indulge in- I am attempting to maintain this blog, my other blog, emails, FB, my journal, my photo journal, spend time with friends here and go out. Not to mention, I really want to spend several hours everyday studying Spanish because my night classes and homework isn't enough. November is suppose to be all about working my tail off and improving my Spanish, but I haven't impressed myself just yet. Got to get better about seeking opportunities to practice and I must stop using English. I must. I also made the mistake of starting on Modern Family, which I am madly in love with and want to watch every episode produced to date.
           The icing on the cake- a few of the obnoxious things that are going on that I really wish would figure themselves out or disappear or both. With the prospect of visitors, I finally made the decision to buy a sofa-bed i had been eying from Ikea for 100 euro. I went last week with a friend to Ikea, picked out our items, pushed them to the cashier, paid the ridiculously large sum for everything and then pushed the purchases to the Transporte counter to have it all delivered. On the metro on the way home, I studied the receipt just to realize that I bought the exact same sofa, except it was the regular sofa version and not the sofa-bed version. Long story and four phone calls with friends to speak Spanish for me later, I went back to Ikea on Saturday to get the right couch. They claim they will call me tomorrow for my bank account information to refund the money. We will see if that actually occurs. In the meantime, my room does feel like home and I am really looking forward to the Ikea purchases as new additions to cleanse my zen and make for organization and a more efficient use of the space. I cant wait to have an area to lounge when I don't need to be sitting upright in my plastic desk chair.
           Also in this category, we have my living situation. I made a bold decision last week to stick it out and settle in here (part of that decision was purchasing the sofa and bookshelf to make this room feel even more like home). Well, the two empty rooms in this apartment have been sold to two Panamanians. They move in on Wednesday, so hopefully they will be cool and we will all live in peace and harmony. Also, there has been some hushed chit-chat among the Italian (this is the roommate I don't like, don't trust and realllllly want to move out like he is claiming he will in December) and our landlord about money so maybe he will be evicted or something soon. That would be GREAT.
            Tomorrow, I have a meeting with the Ministry of Education about my temporary residence card. Then I have another meeting on Tuesday with the police. Hopefully after these two meetings, my legal status in this extremely unorganized country with no regard for customer service will be finalized and I will be a legal alien AND more importantly, that this legal alien will be able to return to work here in January. It will be AWESOME to get that finalized for good.
            Thursday night I came down with the flu, but I think I am over the worst of it now. I was basically in bed for three straight days, totally useless and couldnt even lift my head. Terrible. Hope to be fully restored to healthy very soon.

So it turns out, I don't really just have a lot on my plate, I actually have the entire food pyramid. but you know what, if it's all stuff I am excited about, then all the stress is good stress, right?! Just gotta get over this flu, keep a steady IV of caffeine and power through!
I am convinced that with the 30 minutes a day or so I have to spend washing my dishes, i could really have a better handle on everything I have going on! It's amazing really how much I miss little things like a dishwasher.