Sunday, June 22, 2014

gotta learn to let me go over the rainbow

In less than a week, I will be moving back to Madrid. For me, a five week trip feels like a long vacation, but for others, five weeks is moving. So I will settle with somewhere in between. As I get ready to go back to Madrid, I find myself lost in a sea of thoughts about where I was when I left that city and who I was, what I was looking forward to, what I was leaving behind.

So much of my life in Madrid was like a fairy tale. I was living out a dream to live abroad. I was speaking a language I love. I met incredible people. I was traveling all the time. But I also didn't feel fulfilled. I hated the feeling that my most unique skills and passions weren't at work. I was acutely aware that that life wasn't real life. But for me, Madrid is a very special place. I left a large chunk of my heart there.  I have to agree with Amos Lee, we all need a place that we can go and feel over the rainbow. One of those places for me is most certainly Madrid.

I am filled with energy, excitement and enthusiasm about returning. I will live with my old roommate in our old neighborhood. I will see all of my closest friends many of whom have left Madrid but will be returning for a special reunion in July. I feel unbelievably blessed to be able to go back. It's like the stars have aligned. I'm speechless to think about it all coming together. It's no longer a plan or an idea, its real. I am returning to one of my favorite cities. I cannot believe that I get to show Brian another piece of my heart. In Spanish, that last sentence would translate into a verb that actually really means "teach." I will teach him about that piece of my heart, teach him about that place that I called home, that city that taught me. In just six days, I will be roaming my favorite old streets, eating favorite foods and... it's overwhelming all of my senses.

"Well I walked over the bridge, into the city where I lived and I saw my old landlord. 
We both said hello, and there was no where left to go cause his rent I couldn't afford
Well, relationships change 
and I think it's kinda strange how money makes a man grow
but the people on the street, on buses and on feet - we all got the same blood flow. 
we all need a place that we can go and feel over the rainbow!
sometimes, we forget what we got, who we are and who we are not. 

I'm in love with a girl who's in love with the world
though I can't help but follow
though I know that someday she is bound to go away and stay over the rainbow
gotta learn to let her go over the rainbow."

-Amos Lee, Keep It Loose, Keep It Tight 


 

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